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    August 01

    好花總是插在牛糞上

        闖蕩江湖的混混不乏「無怨無悔」的姑娘為他生子為他等待,殺頭的革命家身旁也總有紅顏,雖然女人一向富憐憫心,愛幻想,還是很難認為她們有「樂透」式的期待感,何況開獎後莊家永遠才是大贏家,是聖雄,是「國父」,是「民族救星」,紅顏多半只淪落成蛋糕上的小櫻桃而已,而古往今來,人們不時有許多感觸,難以解釋為何有「美女和野獸」,為何「巧婦總伴拙夫眠」而好花總是插在牛糞上?
     
      生物學家說女人因為要生育,所以傾向慎選伴侶,習慣依附可以保護她及小孩的男人,但是當今「生物演化」的定律早被強勢女人的「社會演化」趨勢顛覆後,未來男女關係會是什麼局面,誰也說不準。但當台灣有錢的名模歌星祭出她們的擇偶條件時,大家赫然才發現其中竟然包括更有錢的男人,而她們還天真的喃喃自囈,幻想男人的愛情,才情?此時白雪公主的鏡子縱使不跳出巫婆,也早堆了一層灰,響遍了一陣訕笑,而生物學者終於可以寬心;畢竟社會演化也始終跳脫不了生物原則!
      
      演化學者則認為女人為了讓她的後代有最好的基因,所以演化出一種策略,簡而言之:和有錢有勢的男人在一起,隱藏排卵的徵象,伺機再和完美的情人受孕。假如我們的遠老祖母俱是這般德性,倒也不難解釋目前社會以及自己許多難以理解的生物現象。
    最後解剖學家表示,問題出在「情人眼裏出西施」,每個人眼球的弧度多少都有些許差異,就如同你家裏的幾面鏡子,你會發現每面的你都有一點點不一樣,也許你會偏好在某面鏡子前搔首弄姿而不自知,嚴重一些就變成那西塞斯(Narcissus):希臘神話裏自戀湖中倒影而溺死的帥哥。
     
      下次如果看見二八美女手挽著帶金鑽錶,挺著啤酒肚的禿頭中年人,一齊撞進賓士車時…,如果不方便懷疑她眼睛的話,至少可以擦擦自己的眼鏡,不是嗎?  

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